A friend of mine recently asked me some questions about her ex-boyfriend. “Who’s he dating, do they look happy, did he say anything about me, does it seem like he misses me…etc”. I just don’t get that. Actually, I get the wondering part but I don’t get the ACTUALLY wanting answers part. I think back to the first breakup I had and all of the torturous wondering that goes on. I also remember the guy I broke up with saying “Why would you want to know anything I’m doing?! I NEVER want to know anything about your life, who you’re dating or anything that you’re doing because I’m better off being in the dark – what I don’t know can’t hurt me”. That made NO sense to me when I was 19 years old. It wasn’t until my second big breakup at age 26 that it finally made sense to me. Maybe it’s something that happens with age, or experience or just enough pain but saying “what I don’t know can’t hurt me” and ACTUALLY believing it are two entirely different things. The second time around I didn’t want to know anything at all. Of course eventually I found out about a new girlfriend, an engagement, marriage etc, but I never sought out details of his life after the day we broke up. Sometimes having mutual friends makes that nearly impossible but I figured it was better to protect myself from any potential hurt feelings. I also didn’t want him to know anything about my life because there was nothing that he NEEDED to know and things like that just delay the healing process. But HOW DO I EXPLAIN THAT TO MY FRIEND WHO IS HURTING?! You can’t convince someone to let go or to remain in the dark because you know they’ll be better off for it, they have to be in a position to truly believe it and want to know as little as possible.
Made me think of how this can really apply to everyday life. Like dog shit. I got this new puppy and her name is Bean Burrito but we call her Beanie and she’s like a shit machine. Actually, not so much anymore, but for the first week all she did was shit and eat. It was actually quite amazing. I wasn’t really sleeping because I’d get up twice a night to take her outside and wait for her to poop then wait another 20 minutes while she cried in her crate to fall back asleep. I’m not complaining because I chose to get this little shit machine and I do love her like crazy….BUT, at some point I had reached my limit. Actually, that point came on Friday night. I figured that if I didn’t hear her crying then I wouldn’t feel compelled to get up every time and take her outside. So in an effort to get a good nights sleep and start better pooping habits for Beanie I made sure she took a dump before bed and put her downstairs in her crate for the night where I couldn’t hear her. What I don’t know won’t hurt me, ya know? I’m sure she cried a couple times in the night but I didn’t hear her and when I went down to let her out in the morning there was just one little poop in her crate. Next night there was no poop. Same thing applies to Beanie and people food. I will never feed her people food because what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her. Except In-n-Out Burger…one day she will be given her very own burger but that’s different. Maybe from now on I’ll use the expression “There’s no point in losing sleep over dog shit”.
Why do we allow ourselves to be in positions that we know will hurt us? How come people ask the questions that they know they don’t want to hear the answer to? Maybe its human nature to be curious and sometimes we need answers to find closure. Maybe some people would rather feel sad than feel nothing at all. Woahhh….that sounded really emo. I hope none of you feel sad. I hope your biggest problems have to do with dog poop and lack of sleep. Here’s a picture of the shit machine for your amusement……
As far as I’m concerned, this motto also applies to how many calories are in a cupcake, the amount of brain cells that are killed with each shot of Goldschlager, how much money I’ve lost in my lifetime betting on sports, mean things that people might say about me and how much money I could be saving on my car insurance by switching to Geico. Because there’s no point in losing sleep over dog shit. Amen.