Kramer’s Blog

Random thoughts from an over-thinker…

I won the British National Lottery… February 28, 2009

Filed under: Humor — justkramer @ 7:26 pm

That’s what the email said. I won the British National Lottery. I’m psyched. I’ve won it like 35 times but they never send me the money damn it.  There is also a Western Union Payment for me that is waiting to be picked up. All these nice people keep trying to give me money. I must be the luckiest woman in the world!

I wonder if there are REALLY people out there who have believed that they actually won the lottery or inherited 37 million dollars from an unnamed ancestor in China. There has to be or these crazy people wouldn’t be sending out these emails over and over and over. I’ve never fallen for that kind of scam but I did fall for another email scam once. I was sent an email saying my eBay account had been hacked and they needed my information to confirm that the activity on my account was fraudulent. So I clicked the email and it took me to a site that looked just like eBay. I entered my info and went to my eBay page and everything seemed fine. A week later I got a phone call from customer service asking if I really was listing a 1990 Honda CRX for sale. Someone stole my info, changed my billing info and listed a car for sale under my name. WTF?! I’m such a sucker. Needless to say I never respond to those emails anymore.

Once when I was 17 these guys in a van pulled up next to me at a red light and asked if I wanted some speakers. Apparently they had extras and if they went back to the shop with them then they’d have to return them. They said they were “theater quality” speakers with surround sound and they wanted $200 bucks for the pair. I talked them down to $90 and we had a deal. What can I say, I’m a good negotiator. In my defense, they had brochures with photos of the speakers and pricing and specs. Looked really legit. Sad thing is, I didn’t even know I was scammed for a few years. The whole time I thought I had these bad ass speakers….they worked fine, after all. Then someone told me about the “Extra Speakers in the Van” scam. I was devastated. I’m typically a lot smarter than that.

I can’t say that I’m a very trusting person, because I’m not. But I generally think the best of people. Am I contradicting myself? Oh well. I think back to when I was 17 and how innocent I was. Maybe naive is a better word. I just didn’t have any reason to think people would lie to me or hurt me. I just thought as long as I was good to people, they’d be good to me. And while I still maintain that philosophy, I know it’s not always a reality. Such is life.  When ever I say something like that (such is life) part of me feels like I’m giving in to things I don’t agree with. Like, “people lie, cheat and steal so get used to it”. Really, I guess I’m just saying that I shouldn’t expect things to be perfect. Now a days, I still trust people I shouldn’t, but I’m not as shocked when I get let down. But on the flip side, the people who remain true and loyal make me feel that much happier and I hold on to them that much tighter. And even getting a good deal feels that much sweeter.

Speaking of scams….I just watched a Cash 4 Gold commercial. Does anyone REALLY just put their valuables in an envelope and mail it off to some PO Box? That seems kinda rediculous to me, but I guess if you’re that hard up for cash you’ll do anything. But isn’t that what we have pawn shops for? And pawn shops are instant gratification, no waiting for some random check in the mail. I don’t even think I own any gold. Seriously. Oh, actually I have one necklace that is white gold but that’s it. I’d probably get $2 bucks for it from Cash 4 Gold and I paid $90. Speaking of TV scams, I know the Snuggie is a pop-culture phenomenon and all, but have you seen that thing? It’s a piece of crap. It’s thinner than any blanket I’ve ever had and it’s UGLY! Royal blue or Scarlet red??? It’s like a monks robe made of fleece, but uglier. And, c’mon, it’s really not that hard to use your arms when you’ve got a blanket draped across you on the couch. TV commercials make us all out to be a bunch of retards. And I did buy Oxi Clean after seeing how enthusiastic that douchebag was about it. It’s pretty much the same as any other detergent I’ve ever used. Nothing special. I was a sucker, once again. Such is life….

I can’t say I’ll never fall for another scam but it’d have to be a really good one to suck me in.  And I’ll probably trust a few more of the wrong people in my life, but I’m a lot smarter these days than I was when I was 17. But when I get my money from the British National Lottery or when that inheritance comes through (which ever comes first) I won’t have to worry about having to trust anyone ever again. And I’m going to take you all out for a nice steak dinner and then we can cuddle on the couch in our snuggies.


3 Responses to “I won the British National Lottery…”

  1. Soupy Says:

    A couple of months ago a moving truck was driving down my street and they guys knocked on everybody’s door saying they had two rooms full of furniture, and the people they who had ordered it changed their mind, and they (the delivery guys) would be in serious trouble if they showed up back at the warehouse with the furniture. So they were trying to sell it at a REAL DISCOUNT.

    First of all, I’d think they’d be in serious trouble if they showed up back at the warehouse without the furniture, but hey that’s just me. I was afraid to get up into the truck to check the stuff out. I thought they would hit me over the head or something then move into my house with my family. I just politely said “no thanks.”

  2. Soupy Says:

    Do not, I repeat DO NOT purchase the Sham-Wow! My first clue should have been that the word “sham” is in the name.

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