Kramer’s Blog

Random thoughts from an over-thinker…

I invented air and my best friend is a tomato… January 11, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — justkramer @ 10:58 pm

Every action demands a reaction. You ever think about that? I think it’s such a true and rediculously BASIC fact. For example, I’m writing this blog because I like to express myself and share my thoughts. I also hope that what I have to say matters to people. I enjoy your reaction. Granted, I’d still wrtie even if no one read my blogs but it’s your response that makes it rewarding….if no one read them they’d just be words. Am I making any sense? No? I didn’t think so…..get used to it.

So I’m writing this with Saturday Night Live on in the background and I can’t decide if I should stop writing and pay attention because maybe it would be a lot funnier if I was focused. But I think this skit just isn’t really very funny. Oh, wait, it just got funny. Neil Patrick Harris is in a really gay (no pun intended) work out outfit. Now they are doing aerobics. LOL! He’s doing the snake and thrusting. Pretty good stuff. And might I say that Kristin Wiig is fricken HILARIOUS!! She’s doing an impersonation of Kathy Lee Gifford but I have never watched the today show so I have no idea if it’s a good Kathy Lee Gifford but I imagine it’s pretty spot on because she’s always spot on. If I was Kathy Lee Gifford I’d just have people call me KLG because that’s a mouth full.

Back to actions that demand a REaction. I don’t know why I capitalized the RE. Totally unnecessary. So I just got home from seeing a flick and first thing Tay does when I walk in the door is shake her ass uncontrollibly and spin around a few times like she’s a ballerina or something, but she’s not nearly as graceful. But she won’t touch me. She won’t even make a sound or jump. She knows that I won’t touch her or give her love unless she’s calm so it takes every ounce of energy she has to make herself still but once she is I kneel down and give her some love. Sometimes I do this thing where I point my finger like E.T. and I move it very slowly towards her face as if I’m going to touch her and just watch as she struggles to stay still. Then if she budges I pull my finger back. Then I move it forward as she tries to gain her composure. It’s really a sick form of hilarious torture. Good times. What was my point? Oh yes, Tayler tries to keep her ass still just so that I’ll pet her. Her action (or lack of it) is only to get my reaction.

I find it pretty easy to detect when people are doing or saying things simply to get a reaction out of me. Not because I have such a keen sense of people’s behavioral needs, but because it’s human nature. And because I’ve done it myself. You’ve done it, too. We ALL do it. We all need different forms of acceptance, approval and understanding from those around us. The easiest way to get a response that you WANT with out addressing it directly is by being passive aggressive or elusive. Or is evasive the word I’m looking for? Maybe they both apply. Regardless, I always wonder what someone REALLY needs or is lacking in when they are passive aggressive…they’re is usually something “bigger” underlying and sometimes that makes me worry about them. Sometimes it just annoys me. Sometimes I’m completely unaffected by it.  SWEET!!! Penelope is on SNL! I haven’t seen a Penelope skit in FOREVER. She’s the “one upper” if you haven’t seen it. No matter what someone says she has a better story or experience. The girl in the skit is having a panic attack and Penelope said she’s having 2 panic attacks and they’re long and painful…or something like that. I kinda made up part of that but you get the idea. They threatened to call security on Penelope and she said “I am security” as she twirled her hair. She also just said she invented air and her best friend is a tomato. Okay, enough, I’m sorry I get distracted.

Can I just say that I hate Taylor Swift? Well I said it but it sounded kinda harsh. I don’t HATE her but she really bugs me. I just can’t take her seiously and that stupid tear drops song is SO obnoxious. Her songs sound like they should be on the soundtrack of some lame 90s movie that went straight to VHS, not even DVD. You know who else bugs me? Whats her face from the Devil Wears Prada. She’s in the new bride movie that looks rediculously stupid. Ughhh. What’s her name?! I’m gonna google it right now. Anne Hathaway! Yes, she’s annoying, but I love Kate Hudson. I don’t even know exactly why she bugs me but I do know that she doesn’t bug me as much as Chuck Norris or Judge Judy. Tayler Swift is singing with a sparkly acoustic guitar and now I want to punch her becuase her sparkly guitar is so lame. I promise, I’m not an angry person, I just get a little animated when I express myself.

I’m watching Seth Meyers do Weekend Update all alone for the first time and it’s kinda sad. I wish I was sitting next to him. He’s brilliant and funny and I think he has the best job ever. Well, ALMOST the best job ever. I don’t know the first thing about acting but I dream of being able to do what he does or what Amy Poehler did, actually. Just make fun of the news and entertain people. I’m sure there is much more to it than that, but that’s how I see it. I hate the real news because, as you know, I think it’s all depressing. I also am over all the lame celeb gossip. Being a smart ass by nature, I think that making fun of the news and famous people would be the perfect job for someone like me. Hell, I’m prepared to pay THEM if they’ll let me do it.

But I’ve gotta admit I’m a little disappointed by the current SNL cast. Their JV players aren’t very funny. Or maybe it’s the writing right now. I dunno. Maybe I’ll start sending them my skit ideas. I’ve got a ton of them. Okay, I’d never do that, but I have thought about it.

Sorry that this blog was all over the place. I kinda feel all over the place and I’m not sure why. I just saw the Curious Case of Benjamin Button and I came home feeling confused and deflated. I think the movie was kinda boring and anti-climactic but I wouldn’t say that it sucked. How can Brad Pitt EVER suck? Right? They just started a skit called “Two First Names” that is based on a talk show that is ONLY about celebrities with two first names. I think this is going to be good so I’m signing off to focus……..

As I say to my nephews, peace out yo!


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