PANIC! In the shower, not at the disco. I had a panic attack in the shower this morning. Where in the hell did this come from? I’m running through my day, my week, my next 5 minutes and all the sudden I’m in a blur and my heart is racing 100mph and I can feel my knees getting weak. So I just sat down. Sitting down in the shower is nice. You should try it. It’s actually very relaxing but if I make a habit of it my showers will grow increasingly longer. I have no desire to wake up any earlier than I already do so I’ll stick to standing in the shower. Then I went to Target. I love Target and it usually relaxes me, unlike Wal-Mart which stresses me out beyond belief. I could feel myself getting nervous at Target today so I got out my phone and checked my fantasy football score. Calmed me right down. From now on fantasy football is my panic button.
I’ve been getting random anxiety lately….it’s random because I can’t really pinpoint what is causing it and I’ve never really been the “anxious” type. And you’re probably thinking I sound like a basket case right about now. LOL. Actually, I’m pretty laid back. It takes a lot to REALLY get me worked up. Maybe I should just FrEaK out more and I wouldn’t have unexpected panic attacks. That would be pretty fun….can you imagine? Wouldn’t it be fun to just let loose and let it rip on who ever is pissing you off or when your computer freezes, just pick it up and throw it out the window and watch it smash into a thousand pieces. I bet doing those things would release a lot of tension…and make people think you’re F’ing NUTS! Maybe it’s as simple as avoiding things that make me anxious. But that would be pretty selfish, irresponsible and I don’t think that’s even possible. Any suggestions? How do you stay relaxed? Or maybe you can tell me about your panic attacks so I feel less retarded.
Some people handle pressure really well, you know the “clutch players”. Some people really step up to the plate when the pressure is on and they kick ass. Not me. I hate pressure. While I absolutely love a challenge, I absolutely HATE pressure. Is that a contradiction? Can one exist without the other? I guess pressure comes from other people and it’s only a challenge if I accept it. Hmmm….and now deep thoughts.
Maybe I should start boozin’ it up. You know, just have bottle of wine handy for tense situations or keep a flask in my back pocket. LOL. Can you imagine?! I’m such a lightweight these days and if I drank in these situations I’d probably start rambling and share way too much. I’m really chatty when I drink. And smiley. I have perma-grin after a few drinks and I get “drunk eyes” where they’re only ¾ open but they’re trying so hard to be all the way open. It’s my tell. Do you have a tell? I can pretty much name one thing about each of my friends that is their signature trademark of drunkenness. Do you know what yours is? I bet your friends do.
Okay, thanks for listening. I’m going to go polish off a bottle of Jack Daniels then throw my computer out the window. Things are going to be just fine.